A letter to my sister.

I realized today that I don’t know my sister. I kinda missed the mark on that.
I feel like she’s spent the last 3 years of her life growing up with me as a fictitious character in some stage play called “Family Events and Outings”
Now she’s gone. And often I have such hope in my heart that she’s living right and doing right. That she truly loves Jesus, that she truly knows God and wants desperately to have a relationship with him. As these are all things that I want for myself and often feel blame and guilt for not being more responsible in being a spiritual cheerleader in her life.
Don’t feel like I’ve supported her or her decisions. I spent so much time being wrapped up in the saga of my own life that I missed seeing her off to prom.
I regret this so much.
I lied to myself and said that I’m not here in place of my dad. But I have been since my parents got divorced and he went to jail.
I have been. I’ve known this.
How do you start a relationship like this over? I’m so glad that God knows and that I don’t have to figure this out.
I’m so sorry Iné.
If I could go back and smack myself and tell me what I was really doing these last 3 years, I would in a heartbeat.
I’m making you a promise : I’ll never be that dude again.
You’ve been a better sister to me than I could have ever asked for.
You’ve turned out so beautifully. I wish I could say I had more to do with that.
But I’m glad God filled in where I couldn’t.
Please forgive me for who I was.
I love you.

Your big brother.